Oh yes!! I really love this mug!! It was actually donated in one of our yard sale fundraisers we had over the summer.. I can remember seeing this at Barnes and Noble a few years ago and even getting the magnet version for my dear friend Valerie.. surely this was more applicable to her hurried heart at the time than mine. And then I saw this mug in a pile of ((generously)) donated items for our BIG cause!! Reading over the words I felt such a tug at this ((pulled in many directions)) heart of mine!
So, this heart has been at work.
This heart~work has been so freeing.
The free~ing has been the best gift I could get ((and give)) to myself ((and to my children)).
Ahhhh. To be in the midst of all that is crazy!!
Zscha. (( so you know.. this sounds like a little slobbery sound.. perhaps a sound you might make when petting a kitten.. or a beagle puppy.. or a newborn baby giraffe ))
Ahhhhh. To be at the epicenter of silence.. and longing for some noise.
Zschaaa.
Oh...To listen carefully to a new utterance..a stringing together of sounds~ that make a word, and then another..forming a beautiful sentence.."I want, spin me around".. and knowing this is something you have been waiting for your whole life.. ** Yes.. my whole life.. I have known I would be a mother. I have, for my whole life, longed to be someone Sam would want to be loved by.
Zscha.Zscha. ((my peaceful contentment))
So, we were playing yesterday in his wonderful room. Myles was playing with Lori. Owie was resting...or so we thought.
Zscha.Zscha.Zscha.
I posted this on Facebook, and was met with such loving responses.. and much laughter, of course!
I did say his name with varied emphasis on each syllable .
There was no way to discern what to do first with regard to cleaning up..
bath..check.
water bottle and metal spoon for scraping..check.
hands and knees positioning..check.
lots of smiling..check.
a feeling of overwhelming...peace... Zscha!! Check!
Here he is..
My little super hero.
The one we have been surprised with from the start!!
Sweet O.
Patience.
The biggest response, by far, to the paint "Incident".
Having Peace In My Heart.
no matter the circumstances.
This was my heart~work.
I believe it is one thing to have patience about something.
The waiting can be a tough one though.
How PEACEFUL you feel during the waiting.
Within the midst.
In the trenches.
Even on the horizon.. sometimes we are just not peaceful.. no matter what.
This is my wish for my little family.
That true peace would be ever present.
I am so glad to have been chosen for this little life.
* watching the boys say a variety of different words and combinations..with eyes wide open.. what an inspiration to my Mommy heart.
* writing down the account of our Son~Rise journey this morning for our upcoming outreach in January. ((Thank you to everyone who helped make this possible.. your donations are being used in such a great way!!)) How INSPIRING to work so hard on that.. it took me a couple hours, with a few ((welcomed)) interruptions.. but in the end.. what a relief!! I, hands down, love talking about how much progress the boys are making..they are so inspiring to me to keep growing!!
* having the opportunity to go browse at Anthropologie twice in the last couple weeks.. WOW! Although the prices were out of reach, the inspiration was abundant.. The colors and textures and patterns and styles and ideas a plenty!! Super Inspiring!!
*OUR VOLUNTEERS ARE AMAZING!! I have loved giving them feedback these past couple of weeks!! We are seeing so many sweet interactions in Sammy's playroom.. Incredible JOINING (( Sam is inspiring in that way too))...Fun is been had in there!! I am learning from watching them too!!
We are definitely inspired by a belief in a better future!!
AND... we are inspired by our better TODAY!!
TODAY.. right now.. is so inspiring!!!
A quiet, sleeping 2 year old.
A dripping rain.
A cup of tea.
A happy playing 9 1/2 year old..((which he declared the other day..Who told him he was "and a half" by the way?))
A blissful 8 year old.. making a tiny plastic cow fly through the air as if it is in a Blue Angel's air show.
Pandora Christmas music playing in the background.
Inspiring.
So... I sat down to write a quick little note right here.
I am sure everyone has had the opportunity to welcome this season's hurry scurry flurry by now!!
Have you ENJOYED it ??
Any savoring going on??
YES! is my answer!
YES!
YES!
YESSSITY...YES!!
The tree is decorated.and keeps being admired closely by Sam..he has been "marking" ((ahem)) some of his favorite ornaments. We noticed as we were decorating this year that last year was particularly rough for the ornaments on the front lines!!
Broken wheels.. antlers.. arms.. all misplaced..but still all happily put back on the tree for another year of memory making!!
This Christmas is somehow magnified in my heart. I am like a heat seeking missile, searching for all that is most lovely.. all of the straight on eye gazes.. all of the BIG smiling and laughing.. there are words increasingly falling from the lips of my children... and the missile is simply my heart.. HOT and fiery with LOVE... and a perma~smile!!
I have had the chance recently to talk to a few friends about what our days were like a couple years ago ...before Son~Rise.. when we were in the freakin' trenches people!! I recalled all of the hope that was always so seemingly out of my reach..like always a breath of air between my reaching fingertips and all of what was to be.. my wonderful life.
I was so sad.. still with a smile on my face.. yet, aching and angry for the lack of respite in my life.
I have so much peace about it now.. but it was the catalyst for Myles' shutting down.. I was emotionally paralyzed and we slowly began to see him literally collapse before us.
This set the wheels in motion for us to seek some other way..
Son~Rise!!
I can say ((translate:shout it from the rooftops)).. we are on our way to recovery today!!
I am daily being recovered as we recover our boys.
I love the example of a stolen watch.. that represents my time.. our time.
Recovering our time together is happening in these heat seeking missile moments.
Recovering those precious moments I was choosing to be anger filled..and now choosing love.. and patience.. choosing perma~smiles even in the midst of a little hurry scurry!!
The gap has been closed on that space between the end of my fingertips...and MY WONDER~FILLED LIFE.
I take full hold of it.. these tender and massively awesome little days I have been given.
My heart is so full this season.
I hope yours is too.
Joyfully..
me
** and here.. a little video.. Here's to all the Beautiful Things!! Enjoy!!
((Taken from a secret blog of mine... I have only a few entries..and it is not public..but I felt like this post was something I wanted to share afterall. Perhaps I will share others too..it is helpful to look back on thoughts and ideas..feelings of mine..and see where I have traveled in my journey.. enjoy!!))
September 1, 2013
We are just reaching our 1 year mark since we started our Son~Rise programs with the boys.
It has been an amazing year filled with so much learning about my own heart. Learning about parts of my heart that I thought I had already done a good job at knowing about myself. I can remember coming back from my Start~Up program at the Autism Treatment Center of America and saying to my husband, partially out of excitement and gusto from the intense process I had just learned.. and partially out of..let's just get it all out in the open.. CONTROL... what was I saying?? I said.. "You ((everyone)) either needs to jump on board or get off of the tracks!" Now, surely this was not what they had just taught me to say to my beloved husband.. but it was a surge of focus that I needed to make clear to him and everyone else directly involved with our children.
Focus..Commitment..
What I have realized about myself is that I AM so committed .
Wow.
Commitment isn't always accompanied with immediate results.. ones that we can see clearly at the moment.. The results have been revealed to me as the year has gone on..
Watching endless hours of videos about the Son~Rise approach.
Spending countless hours talking to team members about their time in the play room with the children.
Waiting.
Progress coming to a screeching halt after a windfall of milestones being made.
Being the only one left playing after we lost our entire team due to their choice to leave.
Still choosing to believe in this fullest potential thing we get from fully loving!!
Commitment.
This summer, Sam has really taken to licking all sorts of things.. yes, licking.
This is his ism. ((his thing that gives him focus/comfort/surges of intense effort))
During our sessions in his play room, he would transfer his saliva to objects and observe how the colors and vibrancy would be magnified.
His mouth juices would be constantly at the ready to continue this intense focus with another object..
Incredible!
I began to realize how fully committed he was ((is)) to his licking.
It took me awhile to LOVE this ism..and it was really so much more than the ism that I fell in love with.
I saw it as such an amazing quality to embrace.
I saw it not just as licking objects.
I began to see how he could stay with his idea.. and be completely committed to it!
I wanted some more of that.
And from then on, after so much licking.. I started to see myself become more
intensely focused than ever.
Arriving to his playroom with commitment on my mind.
What a gift!
I am so incredibly grateful for this summer's lesson that my beautiful boy taught me.
Joyfully His.
((And a little song for you .. May we all be taken deeper..to our own great unknown..may we know an unexplainable peace as the ocean's rise.. for me it is My Beloved Jesus. I am being taken deeper than my feet have ever wandered.. my trust is COMPLETELY without borders..and I continue daily to be in the midst of His Presence. ))
Hello!! I hope everyone has had a great couple of weeks!!
We have had so much happen over the past month since returning from Maximum Impact.. all great news..
** After creating our GoFundMe page, we were gifted with two amazing donations... a couple of generous donations were also sent directly to us.. we also received our Pampered Chef fundraising money.. we participated in the Fall Festival Craft Fair fundraiser.. and today we had a super fun ornament making fundraiser!! All of these contributions have helped us reach a major goal for receiving support from the Autism Treatment Center of America !! Just Keep Going!! Thank YOU so much for your support!!
** We have been successful at drastically reducing sugar intake for the boys.. this was mostly seen with their juice consumption.. even though we would cut it with water, it was still such a necessity. Since we have been reducing their juice, Sam has had a huge surge of eye contact and a drastic reduction of panic while making requests!! WOW!!
**Sam will also look at me for long periods of time as if he is on the verge of telling me his life story!! ((What a dream that WILL be!!)) So.close.he.is.so.very.close.
**Myles was pushing Sammy on the swing in the house and said...
"I love having fun time playing with Sam!"
"Except for the lights"..
"He likes things that are licking and turning off!"
What!!?? So crazy fun..
**Just so you know.. If I don't get to answer your phone call.. or email.. or the door for that matter.. it is because I am hanging on their every word ... My children's words. Their thoughts.. that they are sharing with me right now..My kids that have been so far from me. They are saying things. Sharing things. Welcoming new things.. into their lives.. I am just so lucky and blessed to be a witness to all that is happening for them. I must admit, I am going to be ridiculously selfish and reserve the entire front row for myself.. perhaps even the whole theater at times.. MY HEART is exploding with so many dreams coming true!! And this is just the beginning. (( sigh....))
** Thank YOU so much for cheering me on!
** Thank YOU for rooting for our boys!!
** Thank YOU so so much for BELIEVING along with us!!
I tried to download a video for you.. lets see if THIS works instead!! Enjoy!!..
**I love the picture and the little extra commentary.. Son~Rise all the way!!
This week has been filled with so many NEW things!!
Different things.
So often, we are told that being consistent with our children on the spectrum ((and our neuro~typicals as well)) is the key to helping them make sense of their world.. our world, really.. there is no need for this rule in their world. They actually ARE doing and being in a predictable way for them in their worlds.. they already figured that out!! They are experts at predictability in their lands!! The repetition is no biggy for them..GOT IT!! DONE!!
Forcing them to use this fine tuned, expert technique with the addition of our set(s) of rules in our land is a completely different thing.. The FORCEING PART!!
So that got me thinking.
Son~Rise is all about JOINING.. and BELIEVING.. GROWING ourSELVES... Before we even consider what it might look like to then suggest this possibility to and for our children..
So.. I've been trying some new little things for myself.. ((even these little changes have helped me to see that I like routine.. in our world.. with our sets of rules.. I actually LIKE predictability too.. so I tugged on that a bit this week and it altered my vision of our Sweet Sammy and Myles))
Let's start with the seemingly ridiculous one.. I LOVE Cinnamon Dolche Latte from Starbucks..when we go.. it is my tried and true!! I NEVER veer! I saw the sign for the Caramel Brulee Latte this week.. and went for it!! It was divine.. I was NOT disappointed!! SHOCKING!!
I became intrigued with a group about essential oils this week..on Facebook.. I started to massage lavender and cedarwood onto the boy's feet at bedtime.. turns out.. THAT WAS FANTASTIC TOO!!
Sam has had a huge burst of more clear language.. more restful sleep..and altogether more eye contact!! We were even able to sit at the table and do some kindergarten workbook pages with extreme ease..
Which leads me to the next different thing..!!!
I have resisted doing these pages with Sam, because, really he has not been "ready".. His attention span has been fleeting, not really interested or connected at all.. lots of lovely scribbling.. approximately 5~10 minutes and then he was outta there!!.. This week.. on 2 separate days.. we explored the pages of his kindergarten workbook for 40 minutes each!! I say explored.. because HE REALLY WAS!!WE really were!! He was on an adventure.. with his pencil..I was there as his comrade.. cheering section..pep rally coordinator... he was tracing and writing letters and numbers.. He was circling objects.. he was following directions.. he colored.. after not recognizing a colored fox picture he had just colored.. I offered him the letters F~O~X to write and then asked him what he thought that was.. and he said "FOX!"... he looked at me while circling and writing objects as if to say.."I really like being here.. YOU say fun stuff to me when I look at you.. and especially when I do it a certain way... is this that certain way??!!" ((Amazing!!))
Oh my goodness!! Are you with me still?? He also CLEARLY told Myles to "Please get off Myles" from the hammock.. he also calmly.. on his own.. readily put his little hand on my shoulder to request something.. He IS A PREDICTABLE LICKING MACHINE STILL!! AND he is doing NEW things.. different things!!
what else?
Myles.. he played with Owen and read books to him for 2 hours the other morning.. saying.. "Oh, you want me to read you another book..OKAY! "..
He is readily..READILY.. able to share what he is feeling!! He even told me during a meltdown..
Myles.. "I am the bluest".. I continued with questions..
Me.."Does it make you feel better to scream really loud?"
Myles.."No."
Me..."Does talking about this together help you feel better?"
Myles.."Yes"
Me.."So.. what do you think about telling me the next time.. "I think I would like to talk to you Mommy"
Myles.."Yes"
Me.."I would like that too..How are you feeling now?... "Are you feeling a different color?" (( this was just a suggestion that his feelings could perhaps be associated with a color..)
Myles.. "I'm feeling yellow.. better"
Me.." Oh..That's nice..((his proximity becomes closer to me)).. I am feeling pink.. and red.. LOVING towards you!"
Myles... "No you are Yellow!!"
Me.. "Yes! I am Happy!! And I am also Pink and loving! Thank You for talking with me!"
This little scenario has evolved over time.. this one took about 5 minutes..
This used to be a 30 minute time frame.. even up to one or two hours of not knowing how to help Myles (( and be pink )).. ((The feelings questions aren't actually where Myles is within the Son~Rise developmental model.. but I would say he has acquired this since we started his Son~Rise program!! ))
I re~opened my etsy shop.. also, in an effort to support our Son~Rise programs.. ((FUN.ner.able)) :)
I parted my hair differently today. No Biggie..
Which leads me to...
What WOULD be considered a BIG DEAL??
How many things are we not willing to offer up to change??
How many examples can we offer to our children.. possibilities of trying and doing new things when we are NOT trying and doing different things ourselves??
From here on out.. I vow to be consistent..in changing.. predictable in the offering of newness!!
Accepting of any outcome..and the view from each "doing"...
Much Love to YOU as you go about in your own NEWNESS this week!
Joyfully..me
ps.. No furniture was moved in the making of this post!! :) hahahahaha!
Hello! Hello! Welcome back into our little lives!! To get you caught up, I am going to send you here to read up on some of the basic details and our general story! Our days have been filled with all things Son~Rise. What an incredible gift this has been! I hope to be able to come back here with updates on our amazing progress and recovery! Thank you for JOINING me again!
